Pour both the salted and unsalted peanuts directly into the bottom of a cold 4 to 6-quart slow cooker. Pro Tip: This forms a crucial "heat armor" layer. Peanuts contain heavy natural oils that can withstand direct contact with the hot ceramic walls much better than delicate chocolate, which scorches easily.

Layer the semi-sweet, milk chocolate, and white vanilla baking chips directly over the bed of peanuts. Do not stir.

Top the entire mixture with the broken squares of white almond bark. Crucial: Almond bark and vanilla chips contain palm oils and stabilizers. Placing them at the very top creates a heavy insulation blanket that traps rising steam, helping the chocolate layers below melt uniformly without drying out.

Cover with the lid and turn the slow cooker to Low. Set a timer for 1 hour and do not open the lid during this time.

At the 1-hour mark, remove the lid and use a heavy silicone spatula to thoroughly stir the mixture from the bottom up, completely blending the fluid chocolates with the peanuts. If some almond bark squares on top aren't fully melted, they will quickly dissolve into the warm mixture as you stir.

Replace the lid and let it cook on Low for another 30 to 60 minutes, stirring once or twice more. The Glossy Rest: Once completely smooth, turn the slow cooker off or to the "Warm" setting and let the candy rest uncovered for 5 minutes. This drops the temperature slightly, allowing the vegetable lipids to stabilize so the final candy sets with a glossy finish instead of a dull, chalky surface.

Line your counter or baking sheets with parchment paper. Use a cookie scoop or a large spoon to drop bite-sized clusters onto the paper. Shower immediately with festive sprinkles while the chocolate is tacky. Let them sit undisturbed for 1 hour at room temperature until fully hardened.