Heat a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground beef and chopped onion. Cook for 6–8 minutes, breaking the meat down into small, uniform crumbles, until it develops a deep caramelized crust. Completely drain off any excess fat.

Reduce the skillet heat to medium-low. Toss the minced garlic, Italian seasoning, and smoked paprika directly into the hot meat. Stir continuously for 30 seconds. Pro Tip: Blooming your dry spices in the residual heat of the meat fat activates their oil-soluble flavor compounds, making the seasonings taste much punchier than if they were simply dumped raw into the slow cooker.

Pour the soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce straight into the hot skillet. Use a wooden spatula to aggressively scrape up any dark, caramelized beef bits (the fond) stuck to the bottom of the pan. Pour the entire skillet contents into the slow cooker.

Dump the tomato sauce, diced tomatoes with their juices, and dry bay leaves into the crockpot with the meat. Stir thoroughly to unify the sauce matrix.

Cover and cook on Low for 5 to 6 hours (or High for 3 hours). The long thermal window allows the acidity of the tomatoes to break down, mellowing into a sweet, rich meat sauce.

Exactly 20 minutes before serving, boil your elbow macaroni in a separate pot of salted water. Cook for 2 minutes less than the package instructions so they stay quite firm (al dente). Drain them well.

Fish the bay leaves out of the slow cooker. Toss the hot, drained macaroni directly into the beef sauce. Secure the lid and let it sit on the "Warm" setting for 10 minutes. The starch-starved pasta will quickly drink up the loose tomato juices, locking the noodles and meat together into a perfectly tight, glossy glaze that clings to your fork.