Line a large rimmed baking sheet completely with a flat layer of wax paper or parchment paper and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the creamy peanut butter, softened unsalted butter, and vanilla extract. Use an electric mixer or a sturdy wooden spoon to beat them together until a completely uniform, light brown paste forms.

Add the sifted confectioners' sugar one cup at a time, blending on low speed after each addition. Once all the sugar is in, drop the spoons and use your hands to firmly knead the mixture directly inside the bowl for 60 seconds until it comes together into a smooth, stiff dough. Pro Tip: Hand-kneading is a vital sugar-lipid mechanical binding step. The friction and warmth from your hands forces the microscopic sugar crystals to evenly trap the loose oils from the peanut butter. This ensures your dough balls stay exceptionally firm and moist without weeping oil or turning greasy.

Pinch off small pieces of dough and roll them firmly between your palms to shape exactly 1-inch uniform spheres (about 2 teaspoons of dough each).

Insert a wooden toothpick straight down into the top center of each ball, pushing it about halfway through to act as a handle. Arrange them on the prepared baking sheet and transfer to the refrigerator to chill for a minimum of 1 hour. Crucial: Chilling locks the butter fats in place. If you dip room-temperature peanut butter balls into hot chocolate, they will soften, warp, or slide completely off the toothpick into the bowl.

While the balls chill, combine the chopped semi-sweet chocolate and vegetable shortening in a heatproof bowl. Set the bowl over a saucepan filled with 1 inch of barely simmering water (a double boiler), ensuring the bottom of the bowl doesn't touch the water. Stir occasionally until the mixture is completely melted and glassy, then slide the bowl off the heat.

The Faux-Tempered Dip: Pull the cold peanut butter balls from the fridge. Holding a toothpick handle, lower a ball into the warm melted chocolate, submerging it three-quarters of the way down. Leave a small, circular patch of exposed tan peanut butter at the top. Lift it straight up, swirl gently to let excess chocolate drip back into the bowl, and place it chocolate-side-down onto the wax paper.

Carefully twist and lift each toothpick out. Repeat the process with all the remaining balls. Pop the tray into the refrigerator for 30 minutes to fully set the chocolate glaze. Once firm, use a clean finger or a small offset spatula to gently smooth over the tiny pinholes left behind by the toothpicks. Serve cold or at room temperature.